Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
