K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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