So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
