ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
