so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
