Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
