exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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