your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
