Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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