What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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