singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
