My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
