what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Randomize
