He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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