You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
