Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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