You're my little dorito
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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