R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
