I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He felt like a one man threesome
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
