it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
