I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
