One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
