Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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