I cannot find my penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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