i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
