i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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