did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
