When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
