I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
