Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
