Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
