Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
