In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
wanna go halves on a baby?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
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