Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
