I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
