It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
