Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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