that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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