Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He kissed a someone with a penis
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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