stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
