I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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