u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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