Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
