You work out of a Hotel?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
