OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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