Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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