my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my being single is dangerous.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
