I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
