Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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