Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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