That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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