Farmville is her only friend.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
